A Letter To My Mother by Taslima Nasrin
How are you
Many days, many thousand of days I don’t see you ma,
Many thousand of days I don’t hear your voice,
Many thousand of days I don’t feel your touch.
You were here, but never knew you were hear.,
As if you were made to be here for as long as I am
You filled my needs like a magician
When I got hungry., when I was thirsty,
When I wanted to play, when my heart opened, when my heart closed,
You knew before I knew.
You brought forth all my wishes
You remained behind in the shadows.
I took all the pleasures for myself by having u out of my sight, out of my mind
No one gave you anything, no one loved you, not even me.
I never considered you as human
Were you, were u a human being?
You were a slave for my happiness
Like a magician you gave anything and everything whatever I wanted
Near my hands, near my feet, near my mouth,
You gave even before I wanted
You never received any single smile.
You were behind, u were out of the party,
You were under a tree, alone in the dark.
Were you at all a human being?
You were nothing but a pawn.
Not a human being.
You were the cleaner, the cook, the one behind the smoke
You alone bore all your pain,
You cried alone with your misery
No one was there for u, no one was there to hold you, not even me.
You cured other’s diseases like a magician,
No one cured you, not even me.
I killed you before you knew that I was killing you..
You are not here,
Suddenly I feel through my spine inside my veins, that you are not here.
You are not anymore.
When you were here, I did not know that you were here
When you were here, I never wanted to know how you were.
My pride is barred under the stone of your intolerable absence
I want to bear the same pain as u once bored
I cant, I could not,
How is it possible?
I am not a kind like you, I am not a human like you.